An Ode to the Unjustly Unloved:
For all my life, this day was held dear to us all. When I was younger (younger than I am now), I never fathomed the possibility that I would be looking at the day in a whole new light…a bitter light.
For I learned, the hard way, that not all mothers are worth celebrating.
I am, of course, talking about Mother’s Day. My loving husband showed me a post on Facebook just the other day about this. I read something similar about the subject last year. The post and article both preached the same message—a message I connected with heavily.
Not everyone has loving mothers. Abusive, drunks, drug-addicts, manipulators…sadly, these are the types of mothers that exist. Sadly, we have a day dedicated to all mothers—including these. The children who grew up underneath the “care” of these “mothers” will understand exactly what I’m talking about—having moms who put them down, beat them, or just straight-up neglect them.
Or worse still, a combination for both.
I’m not writing this to play tic-for-tat. I think that kind of thing is childish, and it’s one of the reasons why our civilization can’t unite together, and improve our society. I’m writing this not only for myself—but in the hopes that, maybe someday, some year—that someone else will read this around this particular time of year, and will feel that they are not alone…despite feeling so on this “holiday”.
The post my husband showed me said that if you can’t celebrate your mother, then celebrate yourself. For your mental health, you do whatever you have to for you. Whether that means spending time with a mother figure, spending time with your friends (if you can), spending time with your other family (blood-related or no), spending the day pampering and treating yourself…or avoiding the day altogether.
It really pains me that I can’t do the last solution—if I could, I would do everything in my power to forget the day even existed. I’ve longed this for what feels like an eternity.
So, in order to stay as sane as I could, I decided to write out this passage. Not only to release emotional pressure, but as a sort of message. I want everybody to enjoy this day, no matter who they are…and I mean this from the bottom of my heart. Having to forcibly separate yourself from your mother for whatever reason is a pain I don’t wish upon any. Finding out secrets, and the truths behind lies about the woman who brought you into this world, is painful.
Seeing everyone else happy on this day and looking onwards, wondering…why can’t I be that happy?
Never think once for a moment, unloved child, that it is your fault. Feel sad that you can’t partake in the day. Feel happy that you got away from a woman who should have never put your in this situation. Feel angry—maybe even hateful. Feel however you need to feel. But realize that, even though it may not feel like it, you are not alone.
…Even if the one you want to celebrate Mother’s Day with isn’t so much of a “mother” at all.