Hey, everyone…I’m back.
…Ja. Business as usual.
This week has been…rough, emotionally and mentally. Moreso for Niax than me. I was kinda happy to step away from anything writing-related for a while…with one exception that I’ll gloss over in a moment.
It seems so…surreal. Just last week, I was typing up about how things were gonna happen with our doggo that might cause me to stop posting for a while…I didn’t expect it to happen the very next day.
I think you guys could tell from my Tweet and notice on Wed…the worst did happen. Dylan, our lovable dog, passed away on Wednesday, July 12th, 2017.
I mentioned in a few posts before about how Dylan’s health has been declining rapidly since we got back from vacation. We found him with fresh bite wounds, and he stopped eating around that point, too. Yes, we did have people trying to keep an eye on him, so he wasn’t alone…but it still shocks me that he declined so quickly when we got back. I also mentioned the numerous amounts of fleas we found on him. Well…a little too late to deal with that. Wednesday was supposed to be a normal, vet check-up (well…somewhat normal). However, according to Niax, when he woke up, he found Dylan totally unresponsive (even though he seemed fine when I left for work earlier that morning). He was having seizures. He had to be carried to the car. By the time my husband and his mother got there, the course of action was clear. Niax felt Dylan’s very last heartbeat.
I got the news at around 10am, via text. I had to step out from work. It came by too fast, and for me….the worst thing was that I didn’t get to say goodbye.
It sounds selfish, but I really wanted to be there. I felt like I needed to be there. Even now when I think about it…it still breaks my heart. I can–no, I do–understand that things happened fast for Niax, too, and he wanted me to be there as well…but, like with the difficult choice I made for Utah two years prior, things happened. We miss him every day. It’s been kinda hard for us to drop our habits involving Dylan. Well, I can’t speak 100% for Niax, but for me, it’s been a little more trying. I usually glance at the clock around 6-7pm, making a mental note to either remind Niax to feed Dylan, or for me to feed him myself. We’re also used to letting him outside the moment we get home (that’s when Niax would have his “after-work” smoke from his vape). I keep glancing over to his favorite couch, making sure he wasn’t biting himself too much. This morning, Niax and I looked over to the water dish to see that it was still pretty full. Dylan would drink a lot more than Annabelle. Just the small things.
Sometimes, the smallest things have the biggest impact.
But aside from not sleeping well, we’re doing okay…for the most part. Work has helped keep us distracted, and we usually try to keep each other company. I feel kinda bad about this, but I’ve been trying to take more care of Annabelle as a result. He got a flea bath on Thursday (supposed to be getting another one very soon), and I’ve been using the flea and tick comb I ordered. We’re also gonna treat ourselves a little this week: we’re scheduled to see Spiderman: Homecoming tomorrow.
I haven’t been able to work much on KoB at all. Everything I felt about the series seemed to evaporate at that point. I still think about it, but I’ve lost the will to work on it, for a time.
However, that doesn’t mean my creative thought has totally crashed (or that Keepers of Balance is cancelled).
I’ve been trying to keep myself inspired in some way/shape/form. Mostly drifting about YouTube videos reviewing/analyzing some shows/video games I have an interest in (whether love or hate). I watched a bit of an anime with Niax, and I picked up the only three published Leverage novels in existence. As I’ve gushed about before, I LOVE Leverage. I love the concept, I love the acting, I love the music, I love the writing, I love the characters and their interactions/motivations–I LOVE IT ALL. If I could find a way to express my love for this series in more ways than CapsLock/Bold/Underlines/Italics/all the above, I would do it in a heartbeat. I’ve actually been thinking about writing/recording a series where I talk about each episode in length–what I like, what I don’t like, what I can draw inspiration from, what I observe, that kind of stuff. I can’t call it a “review”…it’s way too biased. I will admit that because of my love for this show, I may tend to overlook some flaws that could make or break a show for some people. In turn, I love the Leverage novels that came out around 2010-2013. I highly suggest giving all three a read, regardless if you’re familiar with the show or not. They may be considered pieces of fan-fiction, but they were written and made with a lot of love. And that’s what I want to interject into Keepers of Balance the most. I’ll provide a list of each novel and author (if you care to look them up, which you should), embedded with a link of each to their respective Amazon.com links:
(This is in no particular order, by the way)
I’m currently on The Con Job–finished The Bestseller Job earlier this morning. They’re not very long reads–about 4hrs each. But, again, all recommended for light reads.
Anyways, I hope to get back into the swing of things soon. Revisiting one of my favorite novel series has helped a lot, and it helps that every passing day gets a little bit easier. For those who did show support in their own way, I thank and appreciate you. Looking forward to the next several blog posts.