Year 1

Good evening, guys.

First off, I just wanna thank everyone who came by over the past year. I know this year hasn’t been as…consistent, and I’d hoped, but I’ve learned the hard way over and over again that life isn’t the most consistent force out there. I know I’ve said some things on here that I’m not totally proud of, but I’d like to try to put that behind me, and try to focus on having another good year with you guys.

Doing this blog has helped me brainstorm for Keepers of Balance. And I love sharing the process with you guys. It’s nice to have a place to gush. I do put a lot of love into these posts, even if I don’t have too much to say.

I must say that one of my flaws is jumping onto something without considering EVERYTHING. I do this because I often think too much. I’m trying to find my balance AND my limitations, while still finding the steam to move forward. It’s hard, but I believe that it’ll all be worth it in the end.

I mean, I’m still kinda stunned…one year, over 100 posts, a little over 30 followers, and a grand total of 1,410 pageviews. It doesn’t seem like a lot, but…it means a lot to me. Again, thank you all.

…It’s also hard to believe that it’s only been two years since Utah passed away.

Don’t worry, I’m not gonna go into this whole spiel about how special she was–and still is–to me. You guys know that story, and frankly, I’ve cried enough today. Yep, for me, today was a very sad say. I’ve been emotionally drained all day.

Two odd things DID happen to me today, though. If you guys stalk me on Twitter, you might already know, but I find these two instances so odd and off-the-wall that I had to mention them again.

And for the record, no, I’m not upset at it anymore. I’ve been too drained to get angry, otherwise I would’ve flared up already. I must be part fire. I can get heated too easily.

Anyways, they happened almost in rapid succession, so the order I tell these in is the order it happened.

Earlier today, we had a customer. Yeah, I know, big surprise. When he came in, one of my co-workers had one of her stations on Pandora playing over the speak–to be specific, it was a station that played music mostly from bands like Imagine Dragons, Fall Out Boy, 30 Seconds to Mars, etc. Well, one of the 30 Seconds to Mars songs was playing (not sure which one). This customer was listening to this song, and suddenly declared that it was “hate music”.

For those of you who are familiar with the band (my personal fav is This is War), you know that they make anything BUT hate music. For those who don’t know, they make songs mostly about forgiveness, moving forward, and stroking your inner fire. Again, FAR from hate music.

I also found this…interesting because this is obviously shortly after the riot in Charlottesville. A riot caused by some very hateful people.

Not too long after that, I took a phone call. It was from a restaurant where we deliver bagels to. She places her order, and I’m trying to keep up (she had a very thick accent, so I was trying my hardest to understand). I was confirming her order when she huffed and confirmed it back before calling me…something. I’m not 100% sure, but I think I might’ve been insulted in a different language. Arabic, I think, but again, I’m not too sure. She was rather rude, and hung up almost immediately after that.

Again, I’m not mad–hell, I’m not even totally sure that it was even an insult. I just read the tone and plus, I’ve talked to this woman before. She’s often quite rude and hasty. Even if I was sure, again, I was too emotionally drained by the time these things happened, so I couldn’t have gotten mad, even if I wanted to. These are just interesting things that happened during my day.

Which, by the way, ends here. I’ve had a long week. I’m ready for my weekend. I hope I’ll get a chance to talk to you all soon, and, once again…

THANKS FOR A GREAT YEAR!!

~Arrivederci!~

Log Date: 8-9-17

Evening, everyone.

As I mentioned on Twitter yesterday, things have been kind of uneventful. Not much to write about on here.

Things have been going okay. Went to a full moon ritual at the temple Monday night. As usual, it was nice. Good vibes all around and such.

Speaking of the moon, this month actually has a couple of astral events–a lunar and solar eclipse, actually. Not too sure if it’s gonna be visible from our part of the world, but I’m hoping it is. Maybe I can get some pictures.

I took a step back from KoB to help out Niax with something he’s got goin’ on for this D&D-inspired thing he’s doing.

Anyways, it’s gonna be a long-ish week for me this upcoming work week. I only have tomorrow (Thursday) off. I work Fri-Wed this week. It’s gonna be long, but it’s not like I don’t need the cash, so I’m kinda lookin’ for it.

Stay safe guys, and I’ll talk to you all again later!

~Arrivederci~

Rather Mundane

If you guys wanna skip this post, then go ahead. This one is going to be rather mundane. All I have is some tidbits about what’s been going on, and what’s coming up.

So far, the month has started off okay. Nothing too major or minor to report. A local art fair is in town, so we’re gonna be a bit busier than usual.

I’ve been wanting to get fit and work out more. I ordered some basic fitness bands from Amazon on Wednesday, and they finally came in today. I’ve got my eye on a toner belt and some ankle weights. Partially the reason I’m doing this is so I can get my stamina back, and feel better about myself.

There is a couple more reasons for this…one of the major ones being that Niax and I’s 5-year anniversary is in September. September 29th, to be exact. We’ve been talking about a few different things to do, but we haven’t decided on anything concrete, yet. The second reason, I’m not going to mention until later in September, so you’re gonna have to wait a little while for that.

Aside from idle sketching/drawing, I’ve hit a bit of a wall while editing Episode #13. Mostly due to the changes in lore I’ve made for the Corrupted Effigies (Lucems, Tenebris, and Corrupted Keepers). Also have been working my way through Five Nights at Freddy’s: The Silver Eyes. Truth be told, I’m not liking it as much as I wish I could be, but I still find myself wanting to continue, so I have been at my leisure. Also, I’ve been resisting the urge to drop down twelve dollars on the Steven Universe: Art and Origins book that came out a few weeks ago. I love move/show/video game art books like that. Great for a fascinating read, and I love looking at different concept art.

Anyways, hopefully, I will talk to you all again. Have a great weekend, and be safe.

~Arrivederci~

August has Arrived

July came and went. Over all, not a bad month, not a good month.

It’s going to be a year on the 15th since I started this blog. Been unsteady, but still a hell of a ride.

I finished the Leverage novel series and moved onto another series I’ve been wanting to read for a while. Scott Cawthon, the creator of Five Nights at Freddy’s also wrote a book tying into the lore of the games. So far, there’s two books available, with a third on the way. I picked up the first one earlier today, and have been chipping through it for a bit. So far, I like it, but I’m not far enough to give a real opinion, yet.

Anyways, I’m not sure what this month will bring me. Regardless, I look forward to it!

~Arrivederci~

Automobile Aftermath

First things first: I’m fine. Niax is fine. Isura is fine. Annabelle is fine. We’re all fine.

…Well, fine in the sense that there are no major or severe physical injures. Mental, however…well, for me, that’s an entirely different story.

Here’s what happened: we had just left the house after setting off the bug bombs. We were traveling down the main road. When we got to a stoplight at an intersection, our light was green. Isura (who was the one driving) looked down for just a second to reach for a drink. Niax (who was in the passenger seat) was as well. I was sitting in the back seat, reading a novel off my phone and keeping an eye on Annabelle, who was in his carrier.

Suddenly, I heard Niax violently shout Isura’s name. Isura gave a started cry. Honking. Screeching.

Then a loud CRASH!!

All I saw was white. I was tossed in my seat, being yanked back and forth between my seat and seat belt. I could hear the airbags go off. Annabelle’s carrier was tipped on its side, wedged in between the seat and the back of Isura’s seat.

Then, everything was still for a moment.

I am kind of ashamed to admit that I instantly started to panic. Memories from another car accident I was in when I was a kid started rushing to the surface. I began to feel very trapped. I scrambled out of the car, my adrenaline and anxiety picking up to full speed. I ran to the front seat to check on Niax. The airbag punched Niax in the eye. It was all swollen and he could barely open it. The seat belt scraped against his skin pretty good, too. Annabelle was crying in the back seat. I unloaded the cat and helped Niax out of the car.

God, Isura’s car was a mess. The front bumper was completely knocked off. The hood was crumpled, and a piece of the other car got stuck in the windshield wiper fluid tank.

What I think happened (according to Isura anyways) was this: we had a green light approaching the intersection. He kept going. When he heard Niax shout, he snapped his head back up. The woman we hit had sharply turned in front of us. It was very close to becoming a “T-bone” accident.

As for me, well…I walked away with minor seat belt burn, but really sore and painful back and shoulders, as well as PTSD I haven’t had to deal with for several years now. I can still hear the screech and the crash. I’ve been in so much pain over the past 24 hours from the swelling that I could barely move. Hopefully the swelling will go down tomorrow to the point where I can actually work efficiently.

Anyways, obviously, I couldn’t get much writing done. The car accident yesterday kinda messed up a lot of our plans. And on top of that, we’ve been taking turns doing massive loads of laundry and we’ve started tackling the rooms one-by-one. I also need to take Annabelle to get a professional flea bath. I don’t think the shampoo I got for him is very good.

Anyways, I just wanted to throw out a quick update as to how I’m doing. I’ll talk to you guys after the weekend. Stay safe, everybody.

~Arrivederci~

Getting it Back

This is gonna be a shorter post, mostly because I don’t really have too much to say, here.

I had the urge to read through and edit the new Episode #13 (used to be Episode #8). Between that, doing some reading (on the last of the Leverage novels I mentioned last time), and spending some time on other passing “projects”, I’ve gotten myself re-motivated to look back at Keepers of Balance. Episode #13 is honestly one of my favorite Episodes. I know I’ve gushed before, so I’ll try to avoid it for now, but it really captured what I wanted KoB to be like on an Episode-to-Episode basis.

Anyways, our time to bomb the house is coming very soon–hopefully this Thursday. So that means, depending on how the day goes, I might not get to a Thursday post this week. I’ll be sure to let you guys know on Friday what’s going on.

Anyways, regardless of what happens, I’ll talk to you all again on Friday.

~Arrivederci~

Here, have a Drabble

Good evening, everyone. Hope y’all doin’ okay. Been doing okay. Cat’s been getting flea baths and we’re still dealing with Dylan’s loss, but we’re doing okay.

I still can’t get myself to work on KoB all that much. I decided to spend most of my day looking over other “projects” I had going on. Tweaked a few things there.

As I was looking through my SD card for a particular file, I found something I wrote a little while ago. I don’t remember if I even posted it onto here. Honestly, I don’t even remember writing it (I may have been a bit tipsy when I wrote it, though, so that would explain a lot…). I may have lost my nerve and decided not to post it. So I’m gonna slap it onto here, just in case I didn’t already put it up here.

~~~***~~~

When the End Came

I was in the shower when the world ended.

What I’m about to tell you is a hundred percent true, and is not an exaggeration in the slightest. It sounds strange—probably the strangest thing you’ve ever heard—but I’m telling you the truth when I claim that the world ended one cold winter’s night, as I was taking a hot shower, washing away the week’s dirt and stress.

I had my eyes closed, and I was obviously indoors, so I didn’t see any explosion, or blinding flash of light, or anything like that. Why were my eyes closed? Well, nobody likes shampoo in their eyes, and I was in the middle of deep, immersive thought. I was thinking about what everybody thinks about in the shower.

Work. Housework. Family. Passions.

Life.

The beginning of.

The end of.

How funny, I thought, as I rinsed the shampoo from my hair, that we’re always told that life goes on, no matter what. No matter who or what lives or dies, life will go on.

So what happens when everyone dies?

Does everything stop?

Does everything keep doing?

Even now, as I remain here in the emptiness, I will never know the answer to that question.

Because I am no longer going on with life.

Just like everybody else.

How do I know everybody else died, and not just me?

To be honest, I don’t.

But I also strongly believe everybody lost their lives that night. I felt it, when I first felt myself floating here.

I can’t hear. I can’t see. I can’t speak.

I feel…cold.

When the end came, I had my eyes closed. A sudden rush of air that banged against my eardrums, feeling everything around me grow very hot, very quickly…

…And then everything became very still, and very cold.

And now I’m here. At the end. Wandering onwards, past the end, and into nothing. Past the back cover. Past the end credits. Past the midnight hour.

What now?

What’s next?

Nothing?

Something?

Please, let it be something.

I can accept death, I always have…

…but please tell me there’s something beyond this strange ending of mine.

Wait. What’s that?

I feel it…something in the distance.

What is it?

A new start?

A new cover?

A new beginning?

I come to it, something bright and warm piercing the nothing that served as my end, walking towards the bright, new beginning.

Thank you…

Thank you, for this something.

Thank you, for my beginning, beyond the end.

~~~***~~~

The original title was “Strange Endings”, but I felt like it didn’t really work anymore, so I changed it at the last second. I think I literally did come up with this idea in the shower, and then wrote it out over a glass. I actually like this one in a weird way. Not my best work, but I’m oddly proud of it. Then again, this is kinda what I think will happen when I die. Float around in nothingness for a bit before being reborn into someone/something else. Maybe a cat.

Anyways, that’s it from me tonight. I’ve got a bit of housework to do tomorrow and Annabelle needs another flea bath. I’ll talk to you all later~

~Arrivederci~